How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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