How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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