How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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