How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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