How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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