How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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