How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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