How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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