How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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