How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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