How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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