How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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