How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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