How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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