How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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