How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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