How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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