How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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