How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.

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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!

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