How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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