How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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