How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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