How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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