How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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