How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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