How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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