How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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