How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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