How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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