How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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