How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.

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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.

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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.


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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!

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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.

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