How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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