How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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