How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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