How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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