How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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