How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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