How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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