How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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