How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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