How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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