How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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