How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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