How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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