How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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