How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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