How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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