How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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