How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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