How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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