How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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