How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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