How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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