How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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