How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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