How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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