How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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