How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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