How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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