How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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