How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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