How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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