How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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