How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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