How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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