How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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