How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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