How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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