How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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