How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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