How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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