How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.


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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!

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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.

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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.

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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.

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