How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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