How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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