How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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