How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.


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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel

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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.

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