How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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