How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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