How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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