How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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