How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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