How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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