How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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