How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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