How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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