How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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