How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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