How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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