How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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