How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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