How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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