How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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