How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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