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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?
As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?
I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50
Senator.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?
A dino-sore
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?
"Trike or Treat"?
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.
It was like love meant nothing to her.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.
I can hardly contain myself.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.
It came in at quarter past four.
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