How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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