How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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