How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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