How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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