How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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