How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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