How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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