How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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