How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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