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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?
As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. There never was any light bulb.
Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What kind of band can't play music?
A rubber band.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?
A mouse on vacation.
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How do you make a rock float?
Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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How do locomotives hear?
Through the engineers.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?
A dino-sewer.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?
With its sparrowchute.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?
coz Donald ducked
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?
Saliva
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