How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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