How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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