How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.


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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.

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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.

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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to

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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.

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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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