How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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