How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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