How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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