How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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