How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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