How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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