How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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