How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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