How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.


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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!

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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.

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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!

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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.

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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.

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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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