How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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