How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How many BBS jokers does it take to tell yet another LBJ?

1,622. One to tell the original joke, and the rest to submit give some minor variation of it! For example:
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