How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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