How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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