How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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