How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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