How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?

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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon

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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.

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