How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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