How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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