How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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