How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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