How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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