How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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