Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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