I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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