I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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