I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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