I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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