I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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