I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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