I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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