I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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