I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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