I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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