I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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