I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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