I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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