I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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