I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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