I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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