I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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