I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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