I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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