I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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