I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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