I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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