I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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