I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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