I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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