I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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