I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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