I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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