I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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