I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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