I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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