I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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