I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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