I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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