I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.

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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats

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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.

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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!

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