I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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