I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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