I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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