I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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