I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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