I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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