I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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