I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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