I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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