I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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