I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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