I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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