I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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