I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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