I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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