I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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