If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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