If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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