If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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