If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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