If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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