I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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