I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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