I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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