I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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