I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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