I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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