I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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