I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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