I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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