I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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