I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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