I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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